Computers According to Carol
A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.
B is for Backup: always look in your rear view mirror first.
C is for Caddy: part of computer that holds a coffee cup.
D is for Defrag: a popular dance in the 1920's.
E is for Email: post office talk for express mail.
F is for Folder: before I pack a dress, I fold er.
G is for Game Port: cruise ships dock there to play.
H is for Hard Drive: going from Toronto to Florida by car.
I is for Internet: a basketball has to get inter net to score.
J is for JPEG: similar to a square peg in a round hole.
K is for Keyboard: I hang my keys here so I don't lose them.
L is for Laser Printer: placed on eye during laser surgery.
M is for Memory: deteriorates unless I use it.
N is for Newbie: a recent addition to the hive.
O is for Online: a covered row when playing Bingo.
P is for Program: usually handed out at beginning of a show.
Q is for Quit: don't ever!
R is for Ram: a male sheep.
S is for Software: the best clothes to buy.
T is for Traffic: always heaviest at rush hour.
U is for URL: short for You Are Loved.
V is for Virus: the reason we get vaccinations.
W is for WYSIWYG: a sissy wearing a toupee.
X is for X-Axis: dig for treasure here, but not with an axe.
Y is for Yahoo: often yelled after a win.
Z is for Zipped File: another name for zippered briefcase.
Carol Bremner is a computer loving member of the gray generation. Her websites, http://www.creativehomecomputing.com and http://www.motivatedtolearn.com promote computer literacy in the home for the over 50 crowd.
[Not So] Outgoing Mail
I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail. I mean, I understand it in theory, but today I tried talking to it and it didn't even respond.
How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!
We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents.
He Had It Coming, Your Honor
This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around our sprawling estate, I realized that my life is just way too laid back.
The Spare Parts Gremlins
Don't you just love getting a little something extra? Sure you do. Everybody does.
The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach
The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. They have tried to use giant sand bags to drop into the hole.
Internet is My True Agent
You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time there is a pen and paper on the table, they will be sketching something down, with a mysterious smile, giggling quietly and making funny faces.
Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the farmer's market to get our supply of fruits and veggies, leaving Sandra to sleep in.
Marines Dont Take Crap
We live in a world of widgets. People manufacture, distribute, and sell them.
Cant Get There From Here
Can't Get There From Here Juneau is the capital of Alaska, but did you know that you cannot drive there from anywhere? You can fly into Juneau or you can take a ferry to Juneau, but you can't actually drive there. There are no roads into Juneau.
Valet Parking: Theft with Consent
This column is long overdue. To put it in library terms, which I guess I already did (but I'd like to elaborate), this column is like checking out a book in 1998 but not returning it until yesterday.
Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward
Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama's Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa's Gas Station ("We burp you on your way.
Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05
Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event.
When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my mind was that I would get a new Internet Service Provider and finally get off the 300,000,000 Spam lists that I was on. I thought for sure I would go insane if I received one more "How to Enlarge Your Manhood" piece of Spam-as if I needed to do that anyway (yeah right).
Bad Days and Bad Timing
Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at the most inappropriate moments? Well, let me tell you, it's not just the little ones that spout off with remarks that make you want to don a cloak of invisibility.My son was just having one of those days.
Humans are like Monkeys
Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in their abilities to reason. Why is this? We mimic, copy, imitate that which we see.
Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise
While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way.
American Independence - The True Story
It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective mood on his commode. His 13 year old son Prince George (yes, they were very imaginative with their names, those royal types), was sitting on the floor nearby, otherwise occupied with the 18th century equivalent of Game Boy: a model soldier with a rifle sat on a model elephant, shooting at a model tiger two planks of wood away.
When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan
It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets.
If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This?
IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned on the coffee, or got your kids fed, If you are the last one dressed and ready to leave the house, While others in the family get ready, your still moving a mouse.If you have more friends online, than you do in real life, And hubby refers to you as his cyber wife.
A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School
Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools, and my requests, I had been appointed to teach to a sixth-grade class. At least, I almost worked in my backyard.
|home | site map|