If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)
Banish Loans Forever
If ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the very first thing to get rid of would be loans. Absolutely no more loans!
Because once they're gone, there wouldn't be any more:
- Due dates
- Interest charges - at any rate of interest
- Late fees or penalties
- Applications or rejections
- Credit reports [Old joke - If it weren't for bad credit, I wouldn't have any credit at all]
- Playing catch-up month after month
And that means all the related emotional frustrations vanish as well. That would certainly make a lot of people happier. Don't you think?
Instead of lending money, how about just giving it away? That should make everyone happier still.
Imagine a bank saying, "Help yourself - and never worry about paying it back." If it doesn't matter whether money ever gets repaid - there goes accounting and bookkeeping. There goes financial records. There goes debt - along with bad debt. But that's not a stretch for a bank that re-writes the rules. If you thought familiar bank policies were cast in stone, think again.
Up with Emotional Solvency - Down with Debt
A whimsical bank that just started on the Internet eliminates debt and loans. Won't touch 'um. No way, for nobody. That's because it rates a person's emotional health higher than their financial wealth.
This quirky website places more value on emotional solvency than wealth accumulation. Huh? How's that possible? It's the logical (illogical, more like it) outcome of putting feelings first. And its other policies are equally unprecedented and unique. http://www.joyfulbanker.com/goofypoliciesdept.html
The Joyful Banker is a parody of all things financial. It just wants to make you happy - and it wants to keep money worries at bay (even if only for a little while). It exists solely to amuse and delight. To make people feel both generous and rich - with access to unlimited money (admittedly funny munny). This site delivers a high level of frivel (wordplay), giggle, and absurdity in the process.
People are More Valuable than Money... Really
Joyful Banker's avowed purpose is to deliver joy and up-beat energy to all comers. But it can't pull it off without putting money in its rightful place - which isn't first place. Or even second. This is the only bank on the planet devoted to what's really valuable - relationships, generosity, kindness and joy.
Joyful Banker is the Mother Lode of Binkle Lore and Wisdom
A binkle is the energy that's created when people really connect with each other, with nature, or anything that inspires. It's the zizz of energy one feels. Although the word is new that feeling is not. It's been part of every profound or happy experience you can remember. That sensation is always called something else: love, awe, the thrill, peace, inspiration, etc. But the energy of that moment is binkle energy.
This joyous website is devoted to increasing binkle energy in any way possible http://www.joyfulbanker.com/binklepage.html It's not hard to find binkles showing up anywhere - if you're looking for them. Can't have too many. But if you run low, just come beck to fetch some more.
Probably should warn you - it's addictive. The zizz of binkle energy keeps you constantly alert for how to get more. And if you can't find any... that's a downer. But a moment of caring and sharing is sure to get them flowing.
The Binkle Standard Simplifies Your Life
1. Spend MORE of your time and attention with people (or activities) that give binkles
2. Spend LESS time and attention on people (or activities) that drain binkle energy
3. Pass it around! Leave a trail of binkles wherever you go
That's it! But the rewards you feel cannot be exaggerated. Playing "spot the binkle" sure beats a Do List when it comes to banishing stress. Not to mention, it attracts some pretty nice people.
There are still a few bugs being worked out. The funny munny is just for fun. Not to knock fun, but you can't use joy bucks to pay the phone bill.
Come to the Joyful Banker for Binkles and Joy
Anyone who comes to the website has an account (their email address), so can partake in the Unlimited Withdrawals or Open Vault policies. This is one financial institution that won't leave you empty handed. Or empty hearted, either.
©2005, Lynella Grant
This is Part 1 of a 5-part series.
Read the rest http://www.joyfulbanker.com/articles.html
--Lynella Grant The Joyful Banker, a parody of all things financial http://www.joyfulbanker.com The funnest, most joyous fool service non-bank in the world. With unlimited withdrawals. Off the Page Press (719) 395-9450 mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet
We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week.
Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears
Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy restaurant salad bar in Detroit last week, embarrassing not only the perpetrators, but nearly everyone associated with the company.Apparently, Mike Finney and Rhonda Carrion were working together to close down the restaurant's soup, salad and dessert bar and, with no one else around, culminated a night of flirting with sexual intercourse right on the bar.
New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst
Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? In New Orleans many homeowner's had their equity literally washed away. They are upside down in negative equity and basically underwater.
Starbucks Going into Hilton
Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong, Crew Member Starbucks is not doing Paris Hilton. What I am saying here is Starbucks will now be offered in some Hilton Hotels.
I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have much of a sense of humor at all.
The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1
Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as "Show-biz," don't you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I'm not talking about the theatre or TV. I'm talking about the "Restaurant-biz.
Eye Spy Potatoes
Lately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my contact lenses still in my eyes. And by "lately," I mean for the past seven years.
Funny Things We Dream
I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss.
Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians
"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.
The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players
Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst jokes of all time about piano players. Nothing personal, you understand, since I am one.
Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise
While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way.
3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices
I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately.
Cant Get There From Here
Can't Get There From Here Juneau is the capital of Alaska, but did you know that you cannot drive there from anywhere? You can fly into Juneau or you can take a ferry to Juneau, but you can't actually drive there. There are no roads into Juneau.
Sweet Vengeance Purrfected
I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me relate to them so easily.
Humor Under The Keyboards
For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect.
Finding Lost Children
A couple of days ago I had to go to a dealership to get my car fixed. I am not implying that I don't want my car to have children, because who am I to make that choice? More so, I was sent a letter about a recall on one of the parts (the hazards, actually), meaning that the dealership was obligated to fix my car while I watched television and drank free coffee from a vending machine?"This is quite a deal," you may be thinking.
Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato
Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer.
Saving SpongeBob Using High Tech
Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in the news a lot lately, he has been a kidnapped Victim. Instead of wasting time with an Amber Alert for SpongeBob, why not put an Active RFID Satellite Tags in the SpongeBobs so we can track them to the culprits.
When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the most exciting things that popped into my mind was that I would get a new Internet Service Provider and finally get off the 300,000,000 Spam lists that I was on. I thought for sure I would go insane if I received one more "How to Enlarge Your Manhood" piece of Spam-as if I needed to do that anyway (yeah right).
How I Spent my Summer Vacation
One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right with the world.
|home | site map|